It was announced today that Elise Tan Roberts, a two-year-old Brit, has been accepted by Mensa, “The High-I.Q. Society,” making her the youngest friendless nerd ever. In this video, the legitimately adorable Elise Tan—or as I like to call her, E.T.—demonstrates the best way to wear a high-pony while identifying the capital of Indonesia.

IT'S A WISE CHILD: Elise Tan

E.T. boasts an 156 I.Q., spoke her first word at 5 months, and was running by age one. Despite her busy running/speaking schedule, she has found time to learn the capitals of 35 countries, familiarize herself with basic geometry, and master dinosaur classification (when a neighbor mom handed. E.T. a stuffed “rhinoceros” recently, E.T. diplomatically informed her that the cuddly toy was, in fact, a triceratops.)

British Mensa itself does not like to refer to E.T.’s age using a measurement as imprecise as years: “Previously,” it stated in a finicky press-release, “Georgia Brown had been the youngest girl joining in 2007 at the age of 1041 days, with the youngest boy being Ben Woods who joined Mensa in the 1990s aged 1035 days. As Elise was aged 845 days when joining she became British Mensa’s youngest ever member.”

Before you storm your local Mensa headquarters to casually inform them that your toddler knows 36 national capitals, you may want to consider what membership in the society really offers a gifted child, apart from a certain coveted stigma. American Mensa already has more than 1300 members; the youngest is three. These prodigies enjoy an opportunity to “fit in” with other gifted kids and are, moreover, “welcome at most Mensa events.”

If Elise Tan were passing through Tuscan, Arizona, this month, for instance, here are some of the local Mensa activities she could mostly enjoy:

• May 6: Games Night at the Something Sweet Desert Lounge (5319 E. Speedway Blvd.)
• May 8: “Mingling” at Mama’s Pizza (4500 E. Speedway Blvd.)
• May 13: Billiards Night at Clicks Billiards, featuring $3 Jumbo Hefeweizen Drafts and the “Hot Box, a climate-controlled patio where you smoke while relaxing on the couch!”
• May 15: A presentation on solar power.
• May 19: Book Club at Borders Bookstore. Elise Tan could share her thoughts on Crooked House by Agatha Christie.

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