If you haven’t seen this promo for “Jon & Kate plus 8,” please do so now, so we can discuss. It teases the upcoming announcement of a “life-changing” decision the couple has made. You’d hope their decision is to stop selling their family crisis like it’s a Snuggie (“Act now and get this tearful toddler [...]

» Continue reading "An emotionally draining message about sunglasses from Jon & Kate"

Okay, so this is disturbingly bone-headed: Tomorrow, the edutainment company Leapfrog begins shipping the new “Text & Learn,” a new Blackberry-like toy that lets kids “ages 3 to 6″ pretend to text-message: Text and Learn [says Leapfrog] is designed to let little learners play in a grown-up way! Children can exchange text messages with their [...]

» Continue reading "New toy lets toddlers start “texting,” if not “sexting”"

Trolls are supposed to live under bridges. Or in fetid forest dens. They are supposed to be freaks, squat and bug-eyed—tolerated only because they happen to have spectacularly vivid, comb-able hair. Trolls are not supposed to be privileged trust-fund recipients who share a flashy two-story beach house and zip around scoring Ecstasy in their collectible [...]

» Continue reading "Troll dolls adopt lavish lifestyle, warp child’s expectations"

After yesterday’s meditation on toddler vehicles, I stumbled on a website hawking retro toddler firetrucks. Sold alongside these tiny $240 emergency vehicles—propelled by pedal power—is a small collection of firefighter garb. As you can see, the options are completely gender-neutral…. Why do little boys get to douse imaginary flames in realistic uniforms, while little girl [...]

» Continue reading "Introducing…Princess Firefighter"

While angels are generally sweet-natured and infallible, they get bitchy around bedtime, dreading the long hours of tossing and turning ahead: “You try lying on a pair of lumpy wings when you’re exhausted,” one recently told me. “It’s like sleeping on a couple bricks.” I’m guessing that Marie-Chantal, the ridiculously French designer behind these $75 [...]

» Continue reading "How to guarantee that your infant behaves angelically"