The Perfect Baby Blog

Archive for the ‘Phenomena’ Category

Perfect babies, perfect parents, and FAILure

Friday, August 7th, 2009

“My child must succeed! I will give her every opportunity to succeed! She will learn to write tricky words like ‘constitution’ in a lovely, calligraphic hand, but her vocabulary will never include ‘failure’!” It was such modest claims that inspired me to satirize competitive parenting in The Perfect Baby Handbook. Now, it turns out, that […]

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The mystery of the disappearing birthday present

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Have you seen this t-shirt? Say, blowing down a street in Brooklyn? Or on the back of mischievous, Size-5 thief? Or somewhere in my friend Ariel’s house? If so, please grab it and forward immediately to Perfect Baby Handbook Worldwide Headquarters on Montague Street so I can restore it to Ariel’s son Austen, the birthday […]

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Why your baby will grow up to be a Scary Information Glutton

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Everyone loves a clairvoyant. Especially when she predicts the future with as much bluster and certainty as Penelope Trunk, who pens a syndicated business column called the “Brazen Careerist”—and focuses her forecasting on one’s own beloved child. Trunk’s most recent projection, “What Generation Z will be like at work,” is irresistible. In a nutshell, it […]

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Family togetherness is a trend that makes you wear all-white and behave inappropriately

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

If you haven’t quite decided what your favorite parenting trends of 2009 are quite yet, please keep an open mind. Surfnetparents.com would like to suggest this one, “Nature Vacations”: Note the caption: Apparently, the crazy fad that’s leading American families to conduct public orgies on dude ranch holidays while wearing “innocent” white clothing never dies. […]

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The legend of the demonic, incompetent babysitter

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

If you’d somehow failed to notice that babysitters have a bad rep, this Salon.com interview with Miriam Forman-Brunell about her new social history, Babysitter: An American History, is a splendid reminder. Forman-Brunell is a woman who has clearly spent days watching and re-watching When a Stranger Calls, the 1979 horror movie that she says represents […]

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